My sweet biker hubby took one for the team this week by selling his bike. He did it with a willing heart for the adoption. It really helped us get closer to our goal. He is amazing and his love for his children is obvious to anyone around.
I'm sure we'll fill the empty spot in the garage as soon as we can. Because really, with out the bike D is just a weird guy with earrings and tattoos! *LY babe!*
Today was a great Sunday. Started out with worship and praise this morning followed by a sermon about dreaming God sized dreams. Amen to that! Then we went to lunch with D's family at a yummy Chinese restaurant. Back home we all took naps! I woke up at 5 to D asking if I was going to sleep all day. *Go ahead....dare me!*
Adoption update: We are done with INS but still waiting on Rwanda. Nothing all that new.
Tuesday I'm going to take the kids and head over to NW AR to see friends for a few days. I think getting out of town will do us all some good.
I've added the lovely picture above so that I can stare at the beach and go to my happy place. It's funny, if you search "paradise" on photobucket the majority of the pictures are of tropical destinations. What is it about the beach that is universally considered utopia? There were a few pictures of football stadiums (narrow minded men!) And some of drinks with umbrellas in them, but mostly they involved blue water and palm trees.
It's nice to have a place to take a mental vacation during this stressful time in our lives.
Here's the update:
Still do not have the letter from Rwanda signed. We are on our second "come back Friday". Totally normal for them, totally unacceptable by American standards. I went to INS yesterday and found some mistakes on our paperwork that THANK THE LORD the woman who was in charge of our file caught with me sitting right there and fixed. If we hadn't talked about it we would have been stuck in Africa for a while. Whew! Looks like they will be wiring our I171-H to Nairobi on or about Aug. 6Th. There is an end in sight! We might be able to travel middle of Aug. but just to keep my hopes really low, I'm sort of planning it for the end of Aug or 2009, ya know whatever.
Today I am washing baby bedding, more baby clothes and all the other gear that has been in our garage getting a lovely coat of red dust. Thank you Oklahoma wind. I have one more curtain to hang in the kitchen, one more side to sew on the matching pillow and then the sewing machine will go back in the closet and the scrapbooking stuff will come out. I'm planning on making prayer journals for the girls in Rwanda who have been helping us. I might make some for the Nun's also. How do you say "prayer journal" in French? Anyone...Bueller...Bueller....
Please keep praying for the process and all the hands involved. And for Ethan to be healthy and transition easily into our family. I'm sure ready to see his sweet face.
The kids are napping and D is in Tulsa today so I'd better hurry and put holes in the wall before he gets home.
It has been a roller coaster day in adoption land. First we get a call from Heather in INS and she tells us stuff is missing from our home study DOWN DOWN DOWN....then she tells me if we get it to her by Tues. then she will have it done by Wed. and our letter in the mail Thurs. UP UP UP! That letter is the last thing we need from our government to leave and get Ethan!
But we still have not heard if we have Rwandan approval...DOWN DOWN DOWN....and even if we do have approval the people who are helping us are busy so they may not be able to help us for another couple of weeks...BIG DOWN. So I spent the day in a weird funk. We still don't have a date to travel, or a baby for that matter. It's all very frustrating.
What I do have is the steadfast love of the Lord, who never leaves me. He knows my sadness and is already in control of my future. Sometimes I have to remind myself that this was God's idea in the first place. D and I were not sitting around pining for more children. He placed this burden on our hearts and has made it clear that His plans never fail if we just keep following. So even though I may feel like I am in the valley, I have no fear. Even though I have pain in my heart, I have an everlasting hope. This will happen, Ethan will come home, I will be a mommy of 3.
All in your time Lord. I will wait and be a light to those around me. Thank you Lord for loving me through my doubt and never letting go!
We heard today that our dossier is on the Ministers desk waiting on a signature. That means that we are approved! Hopefully they will sign it today and they will pick it up tomorrow! I'll keep you posted!
What a great dinner we had with some very sweet new friends. They are also in this crazy adoption process and are planning on bringing home two babies later this year. They are the most up-beat, positive and truly kind people you will ever meet and their excitement is contagious. That is just what D and I needed! I think we get so wrapped up in the time line and paperwork and logistics of the whole thing that we forget to be excited for our new boy.
Yippee! We're having a boy!! And I think we even settled on a middle name, but I'm not telling yet!
It is so great that we are not on this journey alone. I can't wait until we are all chasing after our new babies together! (Thank goodness that we have older kids to help this time!)
We are hoping to hear Friday that we have approval and that they will be identifying Ethan! Please keep praying for him. We feel an emptiness around the house that he is not here. I'm ready for a face to put with a name.
One last thing.....I stole this off of a friends blog....it's amazing.
Kisses in the wind
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams. You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long. But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.
Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin... Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you. I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.
Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend. But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kissing in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight. And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night. --- Unknown Author
Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, "Give them up!" and to the south, "Do not hold them back." Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth. --- Isaiah 43:5-6
This week has been a wild ride on the adoption front. The friends that have been working on adopting from Rwanda also, received pictures of their new boys. Nate and Zack are just a sweet as can be! They are both 6 mos. old and they passed all the blood test, so the family will be leaving on the 21st to go get them.
It is such a happy time and we are excited for them. What we did not expect was the overwhelming sadness for us. Then you are mad at yourself for feeling sad, so now I'm wrapped up in sad, mad and frustrated that our process is taking longer. That can be a bad combination. And if I hear one more well meaning person say "At least the other family got their boys", I'm going to scream. What are we chopped liver?
Here is what I have learned in this very hard, emotional week. If this is how my sweet SIL felt for the 5 years that we were able to have 2 children and she was not, no wonder a phone was broken against a wall. I had no idea the pain could permeate every cell of your body and I have only dealt with it for a week. I feel like I owe her an apology for not being more understanding. I will also never again try to throw in some sugary feel good statement like "Don't worry, it will all work out", or "In God's time". No one loves the Lord more than me, but during these times saying nothing is so much better than trying to fix it in a 5 second conversation. I'd rather someone just say "That sucks" and give me a hug.
We have been told that Monday morning our missionary friends are going back to the Ministry and hopefully our letter will be ready and we will identify our son this week. We also know that you have to translate everything into Africa time, so one day usually equals 4. We are still waiting on INS, but once we have our approval letter from Rwanda we have a senator's office ready to call INS and hurry thing up. I am still praying that we will be home before school starts.
Friends who have been at this exact spot during an adoption assure me that it is worth it and we won't hardly remember all the waiting. I trust them and know they are right. But tonight it sucks, and I need a hug....
While we are waiting to hear from Rwanda and INS we are prepping the house for baby Ethan. Today we washed a box full of fun baby toys. Out with the old drool and ready for the new! I had lot of help washing and some Barbie's got a bath too!
Summer is getting long and the kids are tired of looking at each other, but only 5 more weeks till school starts! WOOHOO!! not that I'm counting
That is the word for today. Waiting. We are waiting today to find out if we have approval from Rwanda. We have talked to one of our senators and they will make a call to INS on our behalf, but they are waiting on us to tell them we have Rwandan approval.
Once we have approval we will still be waiting for the INS to give us the green light to identify an orphan.
Hurry up and wait seems to be the most common phrase with this adoption. But I also had to wait 40 weeks to see the babies I carried, so with all babies there is time to wait.
(If I was good at waiting we wouldn't have invented "Pre-Christmas Christmas".)
Here is something cool that dawned on me. Davis was born in Jan of 2001, so his bday is 01-26-01. Paige was born March of 03, so her bday is 03-07-03. If Ethan is born this month his bday will be 07-??-07. How cool is that??
We are still very hopeful that we will be leaving to pick him up the last week of this month.
While we are waiting I have been getting school clothes bought for D & P, school supplies ready to go, and buying things for the trip and shoving them under my bed. Hopefully when we get the letter from INS we will only have 2 weeks before we fly out and I don't want to spend the 2 weeks freaking out. I'd much rather spend quality time with the kids and be relaxed.
Speaking of waiting, the dryer just quit so I'd better go swap laundry.